American AcornsPDF page 92, printed page 84
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84 HENRY LEBBEUS OAK In San Diego I left him and returned to my boyhood home in Maine, after an absence of i6 years. In Henry's diary I found this entry: "Ora has gone, and the trip will be lonely." I can now reciprocate and truly say, "The journey is more lonely now that Henry is gone." At the end of that trip, after traversing the entire state, he set- tled at Siegler's, Lake county. After my return I settled in Ferris, Riverside county, and thereafter, though he visited me occasion- ally, I was too much engrossed in business and my own affairs to keep very close to his. I knew that he was working on the family record ; that he had found the family of William, the long lost, and he sent us charts showing the pedigree of our children, but I did not realize the magniture of the work he had done. While I was interested, I did not display as much appreciation as I now wish I had. In my brother's estimate of himself as shown in his auto- biography, the eccentric and marked traits show prominently. His defects were very largely imaginary. He was much esteemed by all with whom he associated in any caapcity. There was always an air of reserve that kept strangers at a distance, and his own afifairs he kept strictly to himself. He always felt a lack of confidence in his business judgment, yet he managed to keep the wolf at a greater distance than most literary men.. If I were to state what I think the greatest mistake of his life, which he invites other Oaks to avoid, it would be in not getting married. When he came to California in 1866 he was engaged to a most estimable young lady. His ill health and "bad luck" the first few years discouraged him, and he broke the engagement; after- wards the uncertainty of employment and inability to adapt him- self to other lines of work made him fearful, and he never mar- ried. Had he had a home life and home cares, much of his ill health and despondent tendencies might have been avoided. His long evenings in his mountain cottage with no companions save his open fire, his pipe, his books and his bitter memories, were too numerous, and excessive use of tobacco brought on rheum- atism of chest and heart, and finally killed him. "Disappointed joys are woes as deep as our clay human nature undergoes." FINIS